that statement, that sentence; this has been my life lately.
and i wouldn't have it any other way.
For the longest time, I have wished for a season of Jesus and Jesus alone. A place where I run when the sun rises, and return to when it sets. I have longed for intimacy and knowing God deeper, in new and exciting ways.
It blows my mind because summer has really barely began, and I already feel so connected and awakened again. Something I told God when school officially ended for me, was that I wanted to experience something new this summer. I told God that I wanted to come out different. I told Him that i wanted to know who I am in Him, that I want to know Him like I do a friend.
and it blows my mind, because I am finding that I finally do.
I wake up every morning and seek for more Him, and less me. I have made Him the focal point of all my days this summer and I honestly have no regrets.
The crazy, cool amazing thing, is that when you ask for more of God, He shows up. His greatest reward is the gift of Himself.
Something also, that's equal parts of crazy and cool is that when you ask for more of God, He is usually asking for more of you too. So there are things this summer that i've had to lay down and sacrifice, ultimately knowing that what He wants to give me, is better than what I want to hold on to.
So i've been laying it all down. my desires, my wants, my dreams–everything.
It's been hard and challenging, but i know that there is purpose in this. If i want growth, I must be willing to let God "plow my ground". I must be willing to let him uproot my weeds and plant new seeds.
I cannot keep my little box nice and tidy and expect to meet God there (although, he would anyway). The truth is, if i want to see real change, I must let him come in and destroy my pre-conceived ideals and selfish dreams. I must be willing to give up and sacrifice all of me, to gain more of Him.
So i've said goodbye to Instagram, amongst many other things that I may gain that much more. It's cool, because i finally feel like i kinda get what Paul meant when he "considered all else loss" compared to knowing Christ. (Philippians 3:8)
If you've heard the song "New Wine" by Hillsong, you'll be familiar with this line: "in the soil, I now surrender, You are breaking new ground". This is exactly what my season feels like. Like new soil is being created (out of what I have let go off/sacrificed), and that ground must be broken for this to occur.
God is doing really cool things right now, and I feel the happiest and most confident I have ever been. I am now beginning to understand how He views me, and what I am worth in Him. there are no more questions of value or worth because i listen to the voice of truth more than I do the lies.
He is constantly reassuring me of His endless, abounding, constant yet raging love and pursuit of me. It's a wild journey but I'll keep you updated!
With love,
Princess
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