isn't it sad,
that months of healing and progress
are washed away
at the mere sound of your voice
my calm breeds chaos again
my chest tightens up in hollow fear
no more.
no more, it begs
we've been doing so well
walking so briskly forward,
no more looking back
but then the persistent friends begin to question,
"how is it that you no longer hurt?"
and just like that
just like that,
this pressure-sealed container of pent-up emotion,
gushes out.
i seal it up, again and again.
i tape it's walls
i run, i run
my heart, it races
these tears begin to fall
with thunder that breeds angry rain,
i reach the end of a sandy cliff
back-arched, knees-bent.
inhaling sharply, i gather composure
beneath me, a sea of glass
untouched, in an oasis of calm.
before i think,
i reach for the box–
the one that holds the kind thoughts of you,
the hurtful ones too
before i think–
i hurl it fast and deep
as fast as we fell,
and as deep as the scars that remain
and in a slow-moving arc like unkept promises,
it hurries downward and plunges far
into the sea that once was calm,
it's crystal blue
now appearing tainted
finally, i breathe.
for an oasis once serene,
now achingly holds the unwanted remains,
of this unresolved chaos
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