do not mistaken pride for strength.
you see, pride says if you break, you lose.
It tells you that the one who hurt you will win
if they know the pain they caused you.
so you tell yourself to be strong
because they don’t deserve you.
they don’t deserve your tears,
they don’t deserve your weakness.
and then weeks go by and you wonder why you’re so heavy.
you wonder why the dark clouds only seem darker
and the chaos in your mind only grows thicker.
you feel your heart welling up with the emotions
you cannot pour out- you won’t let it,
because that’ll mean you are weak.
and in the days that pass you notice
you begin to lose yourself.
you are angrier, more negative,
more alone than you’d ever anticipated.
should you go home? should you cry out
to the God who loves you in your mess?
you know you need Him,
but pride camouflages as strength
and tells you that letting Him in
will only break you; so keep Him at arms length.
but your God loves you. He calls for you,
He tells you that your weaknesses only reveal
His strength. He is strong enough for you.
When you are weak, you invite in the God
over every broken heart and chaotic mind.
He rushes in and holds you close, He whispers truth
so loud they drown out all the lies. He softens your heart,
and eases your mind. and as He sings over you;
the first tear awakens an ocean of suppressed
emotions until finally,
you break.
you’re broken.
but you will heal.
because your God will not leave you there.
Piece by piece he gathers your sharp edges,
bandages your wounds till they become battle scars-
scars of a war you were never meant to fight alone.
and each time you let yourself break,
another part of you becomes whole.
The truth finally awakens till you begin to know;
He will never break you to leave you broken,
but only to make you whole.
